Gringo Guide: Mexican Dating Culture Pt. 2 – The Rules

Society’s Mexican dating rules tried and tested

The Objective

To put a rest once and for all the curiosities behind the society’s obsession with the cultural dating habits of Mexican men by going on a date with a follow first-generation Mexicano and following the dating checklists posted around the Web to test these theories. Knowing I will never see him again after this.

The Research

This particular post is a good summary of all the stereotypes out there people seem to believe.

Attire

All resources agree the key to a Mexicano’s heart is a low cut top. Even if I were willing to dress semi-provocative for the sake of research, for me a low cut top isn’t going to do anyone any favors anyway. So instead I go with one of my staple evening looks: vintage Rothmoore blazer, grey James Perse tank, black American Apparel tights (worn as pants), and Frye over-the-knee flat black suede boots.

In retrospect, I know to be fair to the project, I should have at least worn heels. Anyone who knows me knows I absolutely loathe heels and only wear them when I’m being paid to, and even then typically sneak into a pair of flats I keep in my purse as soon as I get past the carpet. Worth noting, within minutes of meeting his white friend, the friend immediately compliments my outfit noting that I’m the first girl he’s seen able to pull off the tights. I feel good about the wardrobe choice.

I wish I had a better picture but I didn’t even have my boots on when he called to let me know he was downstairs so there was no time for photo shoots!

The Strategy

I actually did some relentless Web search before walking down to the downtown Atlanta library in hopes of some more legitimate advice. Turns out to search the catalogue you have to ask for assistance and I was too embarrassed to tell the librarian I was looking for books on Mexican dating so instead my request for “cultural psychology” lead me to shelves on end on books about African-American and Native-American relationships and culture, and only one book Latin-American communities. (I get it. Tunnels of the underground rail road actually run under the library and my hotel. Had I been home in Arizona or California, there would have been sections dedicated to Mexican culture.)

Even a quick search for books on Amazon didn’t prove helpful so here is my POA comprised from a complication of some of the most common advice found on the Web as it relates to the stereotypical habits of Mexican men.

1. Brace yourself for machismo. In other words, smile and nod at his consistent narcissistic comments. Keep your mouth shut if some comments come off sexist (ie., talk of the women staying with the children). Let him make the decisions and appreciate the inherent shivery that comes hand in hand with this mentality. What kind of Mexicanos are you people dating? Seriously. In my experience with friends, family and a few dates, I don’t find this true at all other than the whole shivery part. I’ve never successfully paid the bill with any Mexicano, date or not, over the age of 12 but rarely do I feel degraded by a Mexicano, even a first-generation or Mexico resident.

2. Smile a lot. Smiling always is attractive to Latin men. Um, I don’t think this is exclusive to Latin culture, but okay, easy enough.

3. Use body language. Lean in when talking. “Accidentally” touch his arm. Etc. This is a little much for me, at least with someone I hardly know, but I think with a couple drinks I can play the game.

4. Relate to their culture. Talk about how close your family is, how you can’t wait for children, etc. Wow, really? My strategy has always actually been the exact opposite when it comes to talk about marriage and kids. Maybe you’re right, Mom. Maybe I do have it all wrong.

5. Learn how to dance salsa. Salsa dancing is a skill that is highly regarded in Mexican culture. Oh, if I get a chance to bust this out, it will be game over. Check and check.

6. Be a slut. Seriously, that’s a paraphrase from more than one source. But regardless, that’s just not my style. Even in the name of science.

The Scene

Dinner and drinks at a Mid-Town Atlanta taqueria (I know, he’s seriously playing into it), and then meeting up with friends later.

Results to follow …